GAZETTE Tampa Bay Gay and Lesbian News

By Brian Feist
LARGO-Curtis Watson and his partner made a promise to their daughters: We promise to mentor your relationship with God; to surround you with unconditional love, respect and pride; to fuel the ambers of your spirit; to allow you independence; to listen to and acknowledge your dreams; to help you get where you want in life; to promote your empathy instead of sympathy; to give you strong boundaries; to expect near partners for you; to help you reach your highest level of ability; to love both of you very much and always remember you're a gift of God and cherish you with the spirit of such a gift.

Watson and his partner, and their two daughters, have been the subject of some pretty intense media scrutiny, of late. It all started two years ago, when the two men became licensed foster parents. Among the first group of children they took in were two young girls; sisters. The girls' short history was tragic and they bore the emotional scars, manifested in behavioral problems.

Within a few months, under the care of Watson and his partner, the girls' behavior improved dramatically, as did their performance in school. The Department of Children and Families agreed that the girls should remain with the two men, but Florida law prohibits gay people from adopting. "We're only good enough to fix them and send them to a more 'appropriate' home," says Watson.

But officials had a way around the law. Watson and his partner were given permanent, non-relative legal guardianship of the girls. It is not adoption, and doesn't have the monetary stipends and benefits that adoptive parents receive, but it meant the girls had a permanent, stable and loving home, for the first time in their short lives. The two men happily spent their own money on education, therapy and healthcare for the girls.

But someone didn't like the fact that two gay men, an interracial couple, no less, were given custody of the girls, and pressed the DCF to revoke custody and place the girls back into the system. The men sued the DCF, and ultimately won, earning high praise from the judge presiding over the case.

The irony is that the men could lose their license to be foster parents. "There's a possibility that the DCF will not renew our license, just because we sued them and won," says Watson. That an agency that is supposedly dedicated to the health and well-being of children would close a model foster home to punish the parents for protecting their children is incredible.

The greatest gift we can give a needy child is a stable, loving home. But opening your home to foster children is perhaps the most challenging way a person can help a child. "We've had 29 children in two years," says Watson. "Sometimes you'll get a call in he middle of the night: 'Can you please take this child, just 'til morning?'" he adds. Children may be in your home as briefly as overnight, or for years. Sometimes it's just until they can find a family member, other times the kids don't leave the system until they are grown. You need to love them like they're your own, but be ready to give them up with little notice.

Watson and his partner both come from families with a strong belief in giving back to the community; their careers are in healthcare and human services-related fields. They became foster parents initially with the idea of taking in teenagers. "We wanted to establish relationships with these kids and give them a place to come home to when they are out on their own." Now that they have had foster children from teens to toddlers, Watson says they no long have an age preference. "We got a two-year-old, and were suddenly confronted with diapers and toilet training," he says, rolling his eyes in a mock gesture. They are now considering taking in the toddler's 6-month-old sibling. "That will be a totally new experience," says Watson.

For as challenging as foster parenting is, Watson says, "It's the best thing I've ever done. It's an opportunity to help break the cycle of abuse, neglect and violence. It's all about the children."

To become a foster parent, contact the Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF). You will need to take an initial orientation class, and will then be set up for a ten-week MAPP (Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting) Class. Required criteria include a home inspection, fire inspection, background check and health exam. The final part of the process is the Home Study, which includes a thorough family and health history. There are no fees for the classes, however the applicant will have to pay for the inspections and required licenses, and will need to have the financial resources to support a child for at least six weeks with no assistance, as that is the time required for the State to process the financial support foster parents receive for fostering children. FMI click here.

Curtis Watson will be the guest speaker at the November dinner meeting of the Tampa Bay Business Guild, Tuesday, November 9, at the Radisson Riverwalk, downtown Tampa. FMI click here.

COMMUNITY CALENDAR presented by the Tampa Bay Business Guild

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